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  <title>Ben's LiveJournal</title>
  <subtitle>A Descent Into Madness</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>Ben</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2007-07-16T00:01:48Z</updated>
  <lj:journal userid="851868" username="bjoblns" type="personal"/>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:60435</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2007-07-15T21:00:00</title>
    <published>2007-07-16T00:01:48Z</published>
    <updated>2007-07-16T00:01:48Z</updated>
    <content type="html">A year ago today...wow...and so much has happened. I miss her, but I'm really happy.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:60207</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2006-12-28T11:59:00</title>
    <published>2006-12-28T14:59:02Z</published>
    <updated>2006-12-28T15:00:21Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Heidi is geing married today...wow time flies. I think I'm becoming bitter ben again, but not because of this...anyways I hope I don't, I kinda liked the new me.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:60056</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2006-07-14T18:49:00</title>
    <published>2006-07-14T21:51:12Z</published>
    <updated>2006-07-14T21:51:12Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Jeffrey Shubert, if you would be so kind as to contact Adam or myself asap (506)536-4555 or (506)536-1598 regarding tommorow night. Thanx.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:59802</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2006-07-07T19:50:00</title>
    <published>2006-07-07T23:03:50Z</published>
    <updated>2006-07-07T23:03:50Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Sometimes I like to just come on here and write for no reason and to no one in particular. I guess I think that maybe somehow by writing on here I can fill some sort of emptiness inside. I don't know exactly why I feel that way, and it's not that I'm in a particular bad mood or anything, it's just that lately I've had to come to terms that I'm usually not that happy (but happiness is just an ideal anyways), but that I'm ok with that. Still I'm sitting here and out of boredom missing all my friends and all the good times from the past, and it's only going to be harder from here on to stay in touch. I think what I really need is to become better friends with my family because up to this point I've always considered my friends to be closer to me than them, but eventually they'll go their seperate ways too. Ok well this is starting to sound too much like my old posts of a time I'd rather not remember and yet still sometimes miss. So I hope anyone that reads this is having a good time right now, and if not hang in there--we all get through it together somehow. Until next time stay fit and have fun.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:59449</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2006-05-25T13:14:00</title>
    <published>2006-05-25T16:32:09Z</published>
    <updated>2006-05-25T16:34:23Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Why is it that boredom so easily begets depression? Too much time to think I guess. So I officially came up one course short and am now spending my summer trying to finish something six years in the making that I thought I had already finished. Ughh. That also means I wont be going to Korea right away. Instead I'm headed for Truro so atleast I'll still be close to everyone for a bit longer. Oh how I do sometimes wish I could actually believe in Heidi's "let's all live on the same street" idealism. Oh well. I miss the really really fun times with everyone. You know, like those days on the beach and the like? Back when it didn't matter that we didn't know what we were doing yet, and we weren't slaves to student loan. Maybe this weekend I'll have a bbq and peeps should come. Ha ha we can have open air tap maches like the good ol' Brenmar days. Did I just say GOOD ol' Brenmar days? Oh dear I must be delirious. I hope to get over to Amherst to continue Judo there, so I can atleat supplement my sad donut addiction with some type of exercise. Oh well there's a bunny loose somewhere in the house, I should go round him up.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:59270</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2006-04-28T19:29:00</title>
    <published>2006-04-28T22:31:45Z</published>
    <updated>2006-04-28T22:31:45Z</updated>
    <content type="html">graduating soon, moving out of dooly's and next to backlot, jessica's in the bahamas, and we're both going to korea soon..oh happy days..boring in sackvegas though, and i still gots myself a crummy job. But who cares. Anyhow, peace.&lt;br /&gt;Me :)</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:59079</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2005-09-16T15:34:00</title>
    <published>2005-09-16T18:39:35Z</published>
    <updated>2005-09-16T18:39:35Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Livejournal. My long forgotten friend. What's new in your life? I haven't been up to a whole lot. Working alot now at Tim's and  still working the odd occasion at Pizza Delight. Finishing up the whole "Mount A Experience" in January. Looking forward to the future (I've got big plans) and generally just takin' her easy. That is, when I have time. I hope I get a chance to see Jess and Jeff and Joey  and the girls before BC, and I miss you Jen and Heidi. This weekend's homecoming. Maybe we'll take Alec out for tequila shots. Going to Korea next year and teaching English. Might be getting some red eyed tree frogs too which would be cool. Anyways, later days,&lt;br /&gt;Ben :)</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:58796</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2005-06-09T20:41:00</title>
    <published>2005-06-09T23:57:12Z</published>
    <updated>2005-06-09T23:57:12Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Wow it's been awhile since I wrote on here...hmmmm...well I have a new hamster named Amygdala to go along with my other hamster Thalamus. I'm working at Tim Horton's now as well as PD to try to pay rent. Pat seems to have screwed us over royaly. Just when I thought I was getting ahead too. Thinking last night about some of the best times of my life as I was strolling through campus after work. I decided they were probably the summer after graduation and my second year when I was in Harper. The reasons: friends. I have some of the greatest friends in the world. I don't mean to say that this year hasn't been awesome. It has for many reasons. But those two times were times when it seems everyone was together, all the time. Even Al, Adam, and I will eventually part ways however. Alas, it seems it's all coming to an end all too soon. But I would like to say, before I go, a few things to a few people. So, in no particular order, Patrick, you are my longest running friend. You're ALWAYS there. So...thanks, I guess. Heidi, you're my best girlfriend. I love talking to you and poking fun at all my other friends. And you know me better than I know myself sometimes which is scary. I miss those days in Harper. Jen, Jessica once said you were perfect, I'd almost have to agree. You're so..chipper, and it's really great. Jess, I wouldn't have had a place to live without your help so thanks, you as well Jared. Oh the memories. Mr. Adam Chipman Smith, nothing ever brngs you downand you've always been there for me. I can say nothing more about you other than you are truly a wonderful friend. Alec, well to be honest I don't know what it is you do, but whatver it is, if you didn't do it things just wouldn't be the same. So thanks for being the glue that keeps everything together. And Shaun, well we've had our adventures I guess. Oh yeah and Jessica, thanks for bringing me out of a dark place continuing to light my way even though I still stumble. You are truly amazing and I love you. Alright well that wraps up a livejournal post for the month, catch ya on the flipside,&lt;br /&gt;Ben :)</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:58548</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2005-04-20T13:38:00</title>
    <published>2005-04-20T16:39:16Z</published>
    <updated>2005-04-20T16:39:16Z</updated>
    <content type="html">It's 4/20. Do you know where you're children are? Westerners, this one's for you.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:58198</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2005-04-15T12:11:00</title>
    <published>2005-04-15T15:14:23Z</published>
    <updated>2005-04-15T15:14:23Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Jess u lil' bitch we showed up at your house at 3:20 on Thursday, April 14th. 3:20! And u left at 2:30? Damn it. I had hop along Al and lanky Adam with me and the gals Andrea and Jessica. Wish I could have seen ya before ya left but was the only time we coulda made it over. Oh well man, have a blast, I imagine you're already lying dead on a curbside somewhere. Peace.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:57949</id>
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    <title>Been awhile</title>
    <published>2005-03-11T17:56:53Z</published>
    <updated>2005-03-11T17:56:53Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Came to the realization today that I am the biggest hypocrit I know. And that many of the flaws I see with other people are actually just mirror images of problems I see with myself. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;School's almost done. I'm dealing with a complete lack of motivation right now but it's only another month. A month from hell though. But whatever.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I should take some time to point out how great my life has been recently. I've been blessed in so many ways and really haven't taken the time to appreciate it. For example, and I hope this message gives you hope Jarred, I couldn't pay for my semester and I had no idea how I was going to do it and it was killing me to even think about. I found that out over spring break that I didn't get a loan. Two days later, after much praying, someone I barely know offered to pay my tuition of 2900.50. Isn't that retarded. So, you never know, things could still work out. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, anyways, I have to go to do school work. Procrastination isn't getting me anywhere. What good is a plan without action?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, yeah, I love you all and I hope you are all doing alright. I'm right behind you, no matter what road you choose.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Me :)</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:57750</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2005-01-25T17:31:00</title>
    <published>2005-01-25T21:33:44Z</published>
    <updated>2005-01-25T21:33:44Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Good News:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Got a bursury that paid for the costs of my books&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Bad News:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Girlfriendless as of yesterday&lt;br /&gt;Can't get my line of credit as thus cant afford university&lt;br /&gt;Have a lot of work to do to catch up in schoo&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;No money and no girlfriend make Ben...be bitter, don't mind if I do! Atlest I'll be living up to my namesake.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:57366</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2005-01-14T14:34:00</title>
    <published>2005-01-14T18:44:45Z</published>
    <updated>2005-01-14T18:48:49Z</updated>
    <content type="html">So it occured to me that I havent written anything in this since last year. Hmmm..well, New Year's was fun. I spent it in Hali with Jessica. Bought the boys weapons for Xmas. Made a brief excursion to Amherst lately to the MacPherson house. Jess we seriously need to go on a trip (not of the usual kind) out to the Alberta, BC region. Your house seems so self-defeating, even if your mom does mean well. Speaking of which the xmas goodies were delicious. I don't have any  money, I'm waiting on money as always. But that's nothing new. Still wanna do the Acadia thing but really gotta pull up my socks. Approaching the wire now and I jus' gots'ta do well. Anyways, I have to get ready for work and then read a chapter on anxiety disorders. So yeah, I'll talk to you all again sometime in the future when I have another random burst creative energy. Not that there was anything creative about this post. &lt;br /&gt;Ben :)&lt;br /&gt;PS Jack Asster's is a great resturaunt. I highly recommend it.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:57249</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2004-12-27T13:21:00</title>
    <published>2004-12-27T17:23:01Z</published>
    <updated>2004-12-27T17:23:01Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Why does it have to snow on my only day off? I have things to too darn it. And now im stuck here alone in Sackvegas and most likely nothing is open. And even if stuff is, I'm not venturing out. Grrr. Plus I'm sick.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:56952</id>
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    <title>And so this is Christmas...</title>
    <published>2004-12-25T22:32:07Z</published>
    <updated>2004-12-25T22:33:55Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Hmm well before I say anything I want to express my condolances to the MacPherson family. Things will work themselves out, in some form or another. This Christmas I actually got to spend time with my family for once, and we actually hung out and they made me feel welcomed. Plus there was only minimal arguing. In some ways I almost want to cry because times like those never happen. By dad said tonight they're should be more of them, which took me by surprise, but I don't even know how to talk to him. We never talk. Oh well, hopefully that will change. Other than that today was pretty good. I didn't get to see some of the pople I wish I could have seen. And I'm broke with no way to pay rent. But everyone got a xmas gift or has one coming to them so thats good. I wanted to go to church but the only time I could have was with the Ogden family and that was late last night so instead I spent it dropping off gifts. It was good to see everyone again. Besides, tommorow's a Sunday and I don't plan on doing anything, aside from maybe a few housecleaning duties I've neglected as of late. School came and went for a semester and I did really well but still not well enough which is really quite stressful. But oh well, what's done is done. I can't wait for New Year's. Merry Christmas everyone! God bless.&lt;br /&gt;Ben :)</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:56827</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2004-12-13T18:37:00</title>
    <published>2004-12-13T22:43:33Z</published>
    <updated>2004-12-13T22:43:33Z</updated>
    <content type="html">"Who in the rainbow can draw the line where the voilet tint ends and the orange tint begins... so with sanity and insanity"&lt;br /&gt;                    -Herman Melville, &lt;i&gt;Billy Bud&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Exams are almost over. Thank God.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:56409</id>
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    <title>Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got...</title>
    <published>2004-12-01T19:19:12Z</published>
    <updated>2004-12-01T19:19:12Z</updated>
    <content type="html">...Taking a break from all your worries sure would help alot. Wouldn't you like to get away? &lt;br /&gt;OK, so I am officially going..."crazy, don't mind if I do!" When you think you've finished, that's only the beginning. I have two papers due Friday worth a whole lotta' marks, a take home exam for monday that we don't even get till Friday worth lots too, and then three exams Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, followed by two others later on. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's all collapsing in on me, all of it, like it always does. Get it together Ben, get it together.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:56278</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2004-11-25T20:28:00</title>
    <published>2004-11-26T00:28:43Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-26T00:28:43Z</updated>
    <content type="html">I am sad. As sad as I've been in awhile. And I really don't want to be here right now.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:56033</id>
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    <title>Tacos, Strawberry Daquiris, and Marble Cake at 12am</title>
    <published>2004-11-19T01:15:59Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-19T01:15:59Z</updated>
    <lj:music>No Use For A Name - Not Your Hero</lj:music>
    <content type="html">Hey everyone. What's up? I'm just working away at papers with Pat. School is going well for me and hopefully it will go well enough for others. I don't do very much lately and yet I don't think I've been this happy for awhile now. But as with everything else, I'm keeping my fingers crossed about my future. Hope everyone else is doing well. I hardly ever see any of you Amherst people anymore. When did we get a Deluxe French Fries? Mmmm...fish and chips. Well anyways I gots to get back to worry. Later days,&lt;br /&gt;Ben :)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, &lt;br /&gt;because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. &lt;br /&gt;Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not &lt;br /&gt;lacking anything." James 1:2-4 (NIV)</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:55641</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://bjoblns.livejournal.com/55641.html"/>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2004-11-18T19:14:00</title>
    <published>2004-11-18T23:16:27Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-18T23:16:27Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Friday's Possible Schedule Of Events...for some of us anyways.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR" &lt;br /&gt;... A PUB CRAWL &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;(Friday, November 19, 2004) &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Five Stages of Advancement: &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;8-9pm (Strikers): denial &lt;br /&gt;9-10 (Paddyo's): generalized anxiety &lt;br /&gt;10-11 (Doolys): more denial &lt;br /&gt;11-midnight (Duckys): grudging acceptance &lt;br /&gt;12-close (Georges): blissful ignorance &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;...Binet and Craig O's after George's party at 206A Main.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:55546</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://bjoblns.livejournal.com/55546.html"/>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2004-11-13T22:47:00</title>
    <published>2004-11-14T02:48:04Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-14T02:48:04Z</updated>
    <content type="html">"When the rain comes you blame it on the things that you have done &lt;br /&gt;When the storm fades you know that rain must fall on everyone &lt;br /&gt;So rest a while &lt;br /&gt;It'll be alright &lt;br /&gt;No one loves you like I do"</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:55212</id>
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    <title>Random Collection Of Thoughts by Benjamin J. O'Blenis</title>
    <published>2004-11-08T16:12:35Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-08T16:14:43Z</updated>
    <content type="html">This morning on my travel to Religious Studies, it was raining quite profusely, rather reminiscent of the springtime. Class was canceled, as I figured it would be for some random reason, and so I ventured to the library. It's funny how the library can absorb time the way it does. I say this because, on my exiting the library, I found it to be no longer springlike but rather more like winter. The earth was now covered with a thin sheet of snow and the trees were topped with snow as well, adding to the scene's majestic charm. &lt;br /&gt;     So now, with winter-like weather upon us, I must find my winter boots. My sneakers have a hole somewhere and doubtless I can go many days throughout the winter without getting my feet wet at this rate. I do so love the first snowfall of the year though.&lt;br /&gt;     My head is still spinning trying to comprehend the events of last night. Ahhh sometimes I just don't know what to do. But it always works out somehow. Goodness I'm tired. And I can't find Whylah Falls since I finished reading it, and it is the topic of discussion in class today.&lt;br /&gt;     I have to work tonight. I wasn't originally scheduled to do so. I want to go play in the snow. I want to see the excited faces of the foreign students who aren't accustomed to snow. This must be a real treat for them. Ha ha it will wear off soon. Anyways, have a great day everyone. Peace and love,&lt;br /&gt;Ben :)</content>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:54891</id>
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    <title>It Is Well</title>
    <published>2004-11-07T05:09:19Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-07T05:09:19Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Soooo I can so still get into Acadia which is awesome. Except...I need an A- average next term and next year when I do my Directed Studies and Adavanced Psychopathology. That's ok though, I'm going to end up with about a B+ at the end of this semester looking at the way thing are going and even though all my efforts will only result in about a 2.5 when I graduate, all I need is a 3.0 in my final two years, which would be this year and next if I'm going to take directed studies next year. So yeah, it's been a stresful week but with God all things are possible right? Sorry Joe, I'll be pessimistic again soon. Later days.&lt;br /&gt;Ben :)</content>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:54751</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2004-11-02T15:23:00</title>
    <published>2004-11-02T19:28:58Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-02T19:28:58Z</updated>
    <content type="html">I've done alot of things lately that I haven't intentionally meant to do that has cause me nothing but stress. I'm not talking specifically about one incident or another but dawg if you're listening I am sorry. Yeah I don't really know what to say beyond that. I'm extremely stressed about school lately as I imagine most of us are, and I am going on little sleep. But I bought posters today. Hooray! Anyways, I have to clean my room and stuff. Today is election day. I hope that the lesser of the two evils, Senator Kerry wins. But that's just my opinion and who really cares about political opinions except on election days anyways?&lt;br /&gt;Ben :)</content>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bjoblns:54315</id>
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    <title>bjoblns @ 2004-11-02T15:23:00</title>
    <published>2004-11-02T19:23:39Z</published>
    <updated>2004-11-02T19:23:39Z</updated>
    <content type="html">Go placidly amid the noise and haste,&lt;br /&gt;and remember what peace there may be in silence.&lt;br /&gt;As far as possible without surrender&lt;br /&gt;be on good terms with all persons.&lt;br /&gt;Speak your truth quietly and clearly;&lt;br /&gt;and listen to others,&lt;br /&gt;even the dull and the ignorant;&lt;br /&gt;they too have their story. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Avoid loud and aggressive persons,&lt;br /&gt;they are vexations to the spirit.&lt;br /&gt;If you compare yourself with others,&lt;br /&gt;you may become vain and bitter;&lt;br /&gt;for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.&lt;br /&gt;Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Keep interested in your own career, however humble;&lt;br /&gt;it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.&lt;br /&gt;Exercise caution in your business affairs;&lt;br /&gt;for the world is full of trickery.&lt;br /&gt;But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;&lt;br /&gt;many persons strive for high ideals;&lt;br /&gt;and everywhere life is full of heroism. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Be yourself.&lt;br /&gt;Especially, do not feign affection.&lt;br /&gt;Neither be cynical about love;&lt;br /&gt;for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment&lt;br /&gt;it is as perennial as the grass. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Take kindly the counsel of the years,&lt;br /&gt;gracefully surrendering the things of youth.&lt;br /&gt;Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.&lt;br /&gt;But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.&lt;br /&gt;Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.&lt;br /&gt;Beyond a wholesome discipline,&lt;br /&gt;be gentle with yourself. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You are a child of the universe,&lt;br /&gt;no less than the trees and the stars;&lt;br /&gt;you have a right to be here.&lt;br /&gt;And whether or not it is clear to you,&lt;br /&gt;no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Therefore be at peace with God,&lt;br /&gt;whatever you conceive Him to be,&lt;br /&gt;and whatever your labors and aspirations,&lt;br /&gt;in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,&lt;br /&gt;it is still a beautiful world.&lt;br /&gt;Be cheerful.&lt;br /&gt;Strive to be happy. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Max Ehrmann, Desiderata</content>
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